Do you remember the early 1990s? It was that decade when Tonya Harding was a household name, grunge was in and floppy disks littered the area around your desk. If these blasts from the past aren't enough to make you feel old, this computer systems manager's story will, because it takes place back in the days when viruses were still fairly unheard of....
A few days after we installed a number of new computers with virus scanners, I got a call from a user who had clearly worked himself into quite a tizzy. Without stopping for breath, he exhaled into the phone, "I did something really stupid and now I'm sure my floppy has a virus and I could really use your help because I don't want the virus to spread, so if you could please come take a look as soon as you can I'd really appreciate it."
After reminding him that inhaling was just as important as exhaling, I assured him I would be over right away to check out his data. When I arrived at his office, he was waiting for me by the door. He took a step towards me, opened his mouth to speak and then finally resorted to just motioning towards his desk. Sitting on the edge of it was the freshest floppy disk I've ever seen, for it was wrapped up in a plastic sandwich bag and sealed with a bright yellow twist tie. I felt as if Christmas must have come early when I picked up the carefully wrapped package and began to examine it.
He started to explain how he had left the disk in a place where it was at high risk of infection but stopped abruptly when I began to undo the twist tie. Warily eyeing the Glad-bagged floppy he asked, "Hey, what are you doing? Did you hear what I said? I really think that disk is contaminated. Can't you take it somewhere else to scan for viruses? I don't want my computer getting infected too."
Puzzled, I stopped and asked him, "What, exactly, makes you so sure THIS disk is infected?"
"Well," he replied, edging away from where I stood with the disk, "this was really stupid of me, but my wife called me up last minute the other day to let me know she couldn't pick up the kids at school. I wasn't thinking and had them put their backpacks and stuff in my car trunk, which is where my briefcase -- and this disk -- was. It didn't even occur to me until today, but my kids all have this really bad cold that's been going around in their school. Since all their stuff was in the trunk with the disk, I'm sure that their virus must be on my disk now."
I wish I could have videotaped my mouth hitting the floor. On the way back to my office, I couldn't help but wonder if Virus Awareness Day was in order.
The take-away: If the Bubonic Plague sweeps through your town, grab the kids and leave the floppies.
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